The Emo Diaries, Chapter 11: Taking Back Whats Ours

Emo Diaries: Chapter 11
Taking Back Whats Ours
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01. Above Them - "Change Your Views"
02. This Drama - "Tiger Meets Lion"
03. While You Were Gone - "Hey Lola"
04. Knockout Kings - "Question Everything"
05. Andy Tanner & His Grand Piano - "The Ghostman"
06. The Crash Engine - "The Sky Retreats"
07. The Decoration - "Progress, Not Perfection"
08. I'm Fashion, You're Victim - "Until Vendettas Achieved"
09. Young Hearts - "Never Give Up, Never Give In"
10. The City Beautiful - "The Dangerous Crowd"
11. My Awesome Compilation - "Eyes On The Prize"
12. Panel - "It's Airborne!"
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Record Time: 46 min 07 sec

Lyrics:

Change Your Views: change your views. don't live your life through anyone. don't break the mould, don't break the mould. be yourself. don't live your life through anyone. don't break the mould, don't break the mould. come open your eyes, and smile like you mean it. i will change when i am ready. don't live in the past, but smile for the good years. i will change when i am ready. well if i was to say. would you be alright. i've changed my point of view. believe in me in change. and you'll be alright. the outcomes on the cards already. come open your eyes, and smile like you mean it. i will change when i am ready. don't live in the past, but smile for the good years. you will change when you are ready. and i will change when i am ready for you. and if i was to say. that you'll be alright. i've changed my point of view. believe in me in change. and you'll be alright. the outcomes on the cards already. pack it in, come on, come on and tell me the truth. would you ever lie if you were going down, down, down. pack it in, come on, come on and tell me the truth. would you ever lie if you were going down, down, down. help me i'm sailing. help me i'm sailing. we're, onto the ribcage we've started the war once again. holding our fists into our skulls like we used too. don't take your time, hurry up don't be late. we got a trade and it's coming in Tiger Meets Lion: take me home. time to fear. time to let go. not to ride on. not to talk of. time to swear. time to sell all. i tried to give up. and then fall to pieces. then fall to pieces. your side of the road. which is your side of the road. this is..., this is 'cause... so is this for real. she said not for the causes. not for the causes. so is this for real? Hey Lola: hey lola, they're calling your name! they want you out on the stage. i know it's hard, try not to be afraid because it's all on you now! lola, such a pretty face, you never thought you would see the day when a little girl from a little southern state, would become, something great... i saw it inside of you the whole time. i know you never knew this would be the plan for you. but beware, lola dear, this may be the death of you. lola, i can see you've changed everything but your name. i know, you think you're the same. but this is not a game... i know, you never thought your life would be a show. on display, until the day he came and took you away. so drop everything, and move away for me, i'll show you, i'll show you everything this world has to offer such a young child you'll never stop her. you'll never stop her. you'll never stop her Question Everything: if everything in elementary's true, we're all winners nobody's gonna lose, but sometimes it's so hard so hard to please. i can see this is going nowhere fast and i can't fake trying to make this last. i wanna know what makes you sick, and everything that questions your motives. we've got so much to learn and so far to go, but now's the time they're out of the room. nobody sees you. i wanna see this devil that you've got trapped inside. (i'll try to seek him on my own, cause he sees more than what you see in me.) i wanna know what makes you tick, and everything that questions your motives. when will we ever see your face and how you look today? i wonder, i wonder why must we be so self-contained, and will this ever change? i wonder, i wonder (i'm sick of playing by the rules cause i think you played us like a fool so lets take a timeout and reevaluate your situation.) watch yourself before you kill us! we've got so much to learn! there's so much that you left out, there's so much in this book that you left out. (this world is not fine on its own, so i'll show them just how much they mean to me) i wanna know what makes you grit your teeth, and everything that questions your motives. when will we ever see your face and how you look today? i wonder, i wonder why must we be so self-contained, and will this ever change? i wonder, i wonder (i'm sick of playing by the rules cause i think you played us like a fool so lets take a timeout and reevaluate your situation.) (take that plank out of your eye, before your judge the one in mine.) i'm sick of playing by the rules, Because i think you played us like a fool The Ghostman: id dream awake if i could. cause its nights like this i wish i had my girl. i'll break this off like i should. but this worlds to empty for me and counting souls. so say what i know you'll say, i don't know. give all the words give. break all the things you touch. it just goes on and on and on. she doesn't talk to silhouettes when shes the ghostman. i write letters on photographs when i'm the ghostman. he stops yelling at telephone poles when he's the ghostman. i just need to get away where's the ghostman. i'd lose the drugs if i could. but high schools the most tired i've ever been. and when my heart starts to drone. my head gets heavy and i lose control. so say what i know you'll say,i don't know. give all the words give. break all the things you touch. it just goes on and on and on. she doesn't like light cigarettes when shes the ghostman. i don't need to tear out my chest when i'm the ghostman. he likes to make you smile not cry when he's the ghostman. this worlds empty on counting souls. so long,the ghostman The Sky Retreats: it's coming down. ten past the hour. filling up this empty street. as i watch it drown. beneath the water. i feel the pavement slipping out from under me. what we know has left us cold. it's sewn on us like a shadow. it opened up and never stopped. it's always raining. out of the rain. into the ocean. wash away whats left of me. the breaking waves. sound like explosions. my lungs are open to the water that i breathe. i'm sinking now. the sky retreats. as i'm depleted i feel a calm wash over me. there is no sound. there's just a feeling. and as i'm leaving i can finally see. there's no way out of this. there's no way Progress, Not Perfection: i want love and some fame, some success without shame. to seek out perfection when our past is mentioned. how can i move forward, make progress, reward her. where is the logic, what are the facts. cuz i'm having the most terrible time. feeding my ego it binges and purges, progress takes some time. sad is my version, a perfect perversion, well i guess you could be right. remember and shiver, the secrets get bigger. i'm older more sober, my memory is over. intentions revealed now, its unclear if they count. show me some structure, draw me a map. cuz i'm having the most terrible time. feeding my ego it binges and purges, progress takes some time. sad is my version, a perfect perversion, well i guess you could be right. action right away tethered to purpose. well i guess you could be right. what's the point again, forgive me i'm stupid. well, i guess you could be right Until Vendettas Achieved: if i could hurt you. make this your last, final hour. like rain i will watch you fall. like rain i will watch you fall. here you lose. its your time to die now. they kill every one in ten (with more). with more than half your eye line. with more than half an eye. coursing like painful acid through veins. this dangerous situation, dangerous games. when you fall, fall like rain. this scarlet red moment will bring you. here you choose. its your time to fly now. they kill every one in ten (with more). with more than half your eye line. don't look back again. look away, always time to follow. those words that are set in stone (your last). your last and final hour last and final home Never Give Up, Never Give In: the end of the summer is the best time for nostalgia. these days are shorter. they remind me: i'm too old for this anyway. this chance was never meant to be mine. my time is up. i'm no longer scared of dying. i'm learning endings are always coming down on you. and if we challenge ourselves to learn, then we will have to challenge ourselves later. we'll have to make a choice. i'll have to make a choice: use what we learned or forget it; do what we love or regret it. i'm learning endings are always coming down on youŠ a crushing weight like a dark moonless nightŠ like a heavy wave frozen above you. there's a chill in the air and warmth in our chest. this summer sun just set down. autumn winds, it's gonna get real cold real soon. it's not over yet. 12 fucking years, this ending's not how i envisioned it. then again it's these songs that told me that l could have the world. the summer is ending, but its not over. our songs are forever. lets make them louder, while we can. this is looking to be a great fall. this coming fall is looking great, grab the bandages and tighten up the tourniquets and then with the turning golden leaves. i'm looking forward to my fall The Dangerous Crowd: explore. why don't you enjoy? there's more in life to see. get a grip and come over. adore. why don't you come over? there's more in life to see. at times, it's real hard you know. the day will come. when i step outside. and there's no need to run. and take a closer look. but i just always run away. run and run away. there's no place where i stay. when tension takes over. run and run away. run and run away. there's no place where i stay. when eyes stab me. ignore. the things you know you shouldn't see. get a grip, come on, enjoy. there's no crowd watching you. and run. and run. and run. and run away Eyes On The Prize: i'm not asking to always be the winner. how does it feel to have odds in your favour? i bet that it feels better. i bet it feels a damn sight better than this. i hope it does or it's pointless. i bet that it feels better. i bet it feels a damn sight better than this. i hope it does because i need the rush. hit hard, hit where it hurts. because the bigger they are, the harder they fall. i wont throw in the towel. with my eyes on the prize i sense a victory. it's not a fair fight but i wont be a quitter. how does it feel to be a main contender? i bet that it feels better. i bet it feels a damn sight better than this It's Airborne!: this is like a famine of our senses. our questions answered with questions. but, it takes more than just answers. ask yourself - nothing's the same, so is there any point in changing? our questions answered with questions. but, it takes more just answers to find out the reasons why. ask yourself - nothing's the same, so is there any point in changing? a token truth to cover a million lies. nothing could get us out of this. like an automated machine's output spewing out of position. ask yourself - nothing's the same, so is there any point in changing?



ARTIST CONTACT INFO:

Above Them: Myspace / E-Mail
This Drama: Website / Myspace / E-Mail
While You Were Gone: Myspace / E-Mail
Knockout Kings: Website / Myspace / E-Mail
Andy Tanner & His Grand Piano: Myspace / E-Mail
The Crash Engine: Website / Myspace / E-Mail
The Decoration: Website / Myspace / E-Mail
I'm Fashion, You're Victim: Myspace / E-Mail
Young Hearts: Website / Myspace / E-Mail
The City Beautiful: Website / Myspace / E-Mail
My Awesome Compilation:Website / Myspace / E-Mail
Panel: Website / Myspace / E-Mail

Chapter 10: The Hope I Hide Inside

Emo Diaries, Chapter 10

The Hope I Hide Inside

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01. Oliver - "Straightest Jacket"
02. My Name Is Nobody - "Brother Abel"
03. The Holiday Plan - "Projecting Power"
04. Sounds Like Violence - "The Light Is Such A Beautiful Sight"
05. A Month Of Somedays - "Forever Mine"
06. Chasing Victory (Bailey Drive) - "How Would It Phase You?"
07. Lock And Key - "Crow's Nest"
08. Hercules Hercules - "Red Makes White"
09. Lukestar - "Alpine Unit"
10. Latitude Blue - "On The Corner"
11. Lost On Purpose - "Friends"
12. The Silent Type - "Jus Primae Noctis"
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Recording Time: 47 min 55 sec

Lyrics:

Straightest Jacket: rest my head. i hope i never wake up. for there's hell to pay. maybe there's something. oh well. heart beats fast. muscles tight when i get sick. i get uptight. maybe i'm dreaming. oh well. i can't believe it. life has no meaning. can't stop the bleeding. i'm not so old. i think it's work. i think it's you. i get quiet when i. smell your soap. maybe there's nothing. oh well. i'm not stable. keep on breathing. i'm not so. i had my head checked for the straightest jacket Brother Abel: i will be. they took us from our homes. in the heavenlies. to a better life. not just a land. or so they said. of opportunity. i will be. are we the bastard? the bastard sons? in the heavenlies. forgotten by our ones. not just a land. they call us back home now. are we the bastard sons? stripped of all our pride. betrayed by our laws. segregated in our own lives. so would you look in my eyes? i see no dignity in this. to find a light to follow. why would you hurt me. into my mother's eyes i'll stare inside. if i yell we're the same? i didn't even know you. we seem to have lost all our pride. even though you had known me. and i heard your voice for the first time that day. can't you see it in our eyes? i didn't even realize. how much you have loved me. you were just waiting for me to choose life Projecting Power: falling through my dreams. breaking me at seams. i'm waiting for a change. but all things stay the same. if i falter would you follow me. you won't follow me. sitting silent softly. something's stirring beneath. you're distant cold grey eyes and i'm tired. but i still try. if i falter would you follow me. you won't follow me. don't hold your mistakes against me. and if i falter would you follow me. you won't follow me. don't hold you're mistakes against me. because there's nothing i can do The Light Is Such A Beautiful Sight: yesterday was an awful day.today i can hardly sit up right. tonight i'll probably be out. and fight. cause i have never had love. bring me the light. such a beautiful sight. lean on me. let's leave this place together. fun. we used to have such fun. it's all gone. i'm only complaining. old. i think we're growing old. what have we done? we have done nothing. bring me the light. such a beautiful sight. leon on me. let's leave this place together. bring me the light. such a beautiful sight. lean on me. let's leave this place together. alone. when you're here i feel alone. that's strange. we used to talk much Forever Mine: i don't mind. that you think you can ride your bike all night. maybe it's good for both of us this time. maybe you'll ride forever. i don't mind. i don't mind. keeps me guessing when you're not on time. maybe you will ride. forever mine. such a crock of shit. and still i don't mind. not this time. i might be a kid eating free at your restaurant until i'm sixty. and i won't mind. and i wouldn't mind. i don't mind. that you're never ever ever coming on one time. it keeps me guessing. just like every night when the phone won't ring. and you're never on time. not this time. i might be waiting on tables at your restaurant until i'm sixty. and i won't mind. and i won't mind. and i wouldn't mind. this time is not forever. don't remind me. of all those nights we shared. don't think that i see. you dancing in my awkward arms. just leaving me tumbling around in circles in my memory. you dancing in my awkward arms. all of those nights we shared. laying there. this time is not forever. don't remind me. all of those nights we shared. don't think that i see. you dancing in my awkward arms. just leaving me tumbling around in circles in my memory. what went wrong. all of those nights we shared. laying there. not this time. i might be a kid eating free waiting tables at your restaurant until i die. and i wouldn't mind. no i wouldn't mind How Would It Phase You?: how would it phase you. if everything you thought you'd feel lay dormant and still. would it effect in the slightest sense at all. would it even cross your mind. to walk the line that you drew a long time ago. don't just jump back and forth. you'll be sorry when i'm gone. how would it phase you. if the walls were closing in. how would it phase you. collapsing lives. uncovering this dead skin. the seasons still change whether you know. you're wasting time that you should've spent on your knees. talking about the world and how you've turned over a new leaf. and now placing your mirrors on the floor means we look down on you when we seek. the more pleasant things that we expected from you. you'll be sorry when i'm gone. i can't see now for the light. and you left me blind. i can't see for the light. and my eyes are sewn shut. when the car crash the fire overwhelms. when the car crash the fire overwhelms. i can see now for the light. and my eyes are no longer sewn shut Crow's Nest: could be the summer nights. like we're nocturnal. could be the city's lights. dark and lonely. could be our fear of heights. the edge is always too close. could be to face our freights. drunk and fearless. all i know is at the top we're close. don't say you don't get that feeling. don't say you've got nothing to believe in. all you need is hope for feeling. all you need is yourself to believe in Red Makes White: hey you. listen up. this is it. all worn out? test the waters. you look so dangerous. dressed for the occasion. turn. smile and wave. let's break this hour glass and build a sand castle. just tell me when you're ready. wink when you're ready. can you feel it inside? can you feel it inside? oh yes you can. i can see it in your eyes. the secret's out. it's time to shine. and if these wings fail. turn left at the light. you'll be there. i promise. hey you. listen up. this is it. red makes white. with two thumbs up. we all fall down. i spy something yellow. i spy something blue. i spy something brown. i spy something you Alpine Unit: start the unit. start it up. headwind on it's way. restless either wide awake. save the glory days. she's on my side this time around. captain says you're here. so put it up. keeping all out and i just missed the train. guidelines made them throw. pavement loaded afternoon. nothing more to say. i try to tell you all about my hidden forestry. she's on my side this time around. captain says you're here. so put it up. keeping all out and i just missed the train. guidelines made them throw On The Corner: i would've called you but i didn't want to worry you. i would've begged you but i didn't want to hurry you. and besides. you know i've got this pride. even i need someone. come on. i need someone to keep me on my feet when i feel beat. who knows where my head is really at? no one in this room. that's for sure. don't get me wrong. i ain't complaining. i just don't understand why i feel drained. just cos it's raining. just cos it's raining. just cos it's raining. never been too good with choruses. this one seems okay. i'm sure it is. this one seems okay. i'm sure it is. i do all my living in my head. i do all my living in my dreams. i do all my living in my bed. this situation suits me cos it seems. better than this life. better than this life. never been too good with choruses. this one seems okay. i'm sure it is. this one seems okay. i'm sure it is. i would've called you but i didn't want to worry you. i would've begged you but there's absolutely nothing whatsoever. you could've done to help Friends: set your mind on fire. to impress your friends. for the girls to admire. like a dead relative. bring along some rum. for us to drink 'til 10. all we want is fun. all our friends are dead. pass it along it won't be long until our friends are dead. learn to live a lie. as if you know the truth. and live inside your mind. a place you thought you knew. less is more than ever. unless you thought it through the elements have never. split apart for you. pass it along. it won't be long until our friends are dead Jus Primae Noctis: he began speaking apologies before she had opened her door. it was safer that way. to have had something to say at the moment when fate chose its course. both of them stood there expectantly. betrayed by an innocent gift. he had cornered himself with the roses he held. and he cursed her hands hung so sweetly by their thorns. but it made him feel real. like the present was meant to be lived. and the past could stay hidden for now. while the moment tastes good. the carpet was begging for alibis and the bed was just wishing for sleep. but the longer he stayed the more motives she claimed. like possession had always been hers. before he could speak she had toppled him. forcing his mouth onto hers. then the guilt it did spill. til her mouth it was filled. and she choked on the blame that came forth as it poured. but his venom was curative. and it made her awake from her dream just as he fell asleep again. how else could it end? shaking hands? staying friends? parting ways leaves our sins covered up but not cleaned.

Chapter 9: Sad Songs Remind Me

Emo Diaries, Chapter 9

Sad Songs Remind Me

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01. So Sad Althea - "As I Fall Apart"
02. Michael - "Finish Line"
03. Surrounded - "High Five Hiero"
04. Iamuse - "As The Summer Pass Us By"
05. The Local Art - "Karenaihana"
06. The Paper Champions - "Ask Emma"
07. La Pieta - "More Of The Sky"
08. Settlefish - "When The Light Becomes Green"
09. Avec - "The Last Injection"
10. Milton Mapes - "Big Cloud, Big Sky"
11. At The Close Of Every Day - "High School Lovers USA"
12. The National Anthems - "My Picture"
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Recording Time: 60 min 36 sec

Lyrics:

As I Fall Apart: Who brought down this on me. What I feel seems to follow all along. Or maybe i'm oh so wrong. When I feel that I don't belong. And I see you, I see you smile as I fall. Fix your smile don't look so sad. What is what who is who and why care. Am I really really that bad. When I feel that I don't belong Finish Line: well i'm swimming in my head again. just can't win. waking up from neverland. sword in hand. reality is weighing down. heavier by the pound. of a clever underwater heart. that's falling apart. long slow run. without a prize. i've raced all my life. standing on the edge of it. in a cool thick sweat. stretched out over them. that learned to swim. treated me like a king. made me everything. but i had to be the one. to come undone. somwehere else. my soul survives. a memory in your life. at least i was part of it. long slow run. without a prize. i've kept score all my life. i need a finish line High Five Hiero: poolguards and sharks. little petty cops' alliance. stiff fingers on a forty-five. in the locker. face packs and crash bags. and flies on the wall. sipping highballs. waiting around for woes and thrills. and child-star daughters. saints are coming in flashy cars. and we are given to always keep. the party clean. heat rash and smog. sold out manuals on dying. big gas trucks and a fat cat. adding water. sunny sides and rat traps. debators to fill up the forms. sad orations for your creatures'. rolling heads. and spiteful sinners. for you all. i've got one safe card. to bail you out As The Summer Pass Us By: Break break a leg for me kiddo. You know I'd break one for you. And hold hold your head up high kiddo. One of these days you'll pull throgh. Bigmouth's got your back. There is a queen in the suburbs. Down round the town by the bridge. Who'll rock the world fore you King so. if you doubt then please just know this. Bigmouth 's got your back. And we're dancing and as we're dancing our sorrows pass us by. Yes we're dancing and as we're dancing our sorrows pass us by. This trace is keeping us dancing as the summer pass us by. Awake wake on the right side. and you'll slide by the cracks in your paths. And shake shake that ass for me and know. I feel fine 'cause I know who has got bigmouths back. Friends and enemies. boys who's just like me. It takes a snowflake to crack. but bigmouth's got your backs. Karenaihana: A pretty flower is blooming so near. The sky after raining is very pretty. Even if I ran through the grass-covered plain like mad. Nothing is going to begin. The meaning of living. The meaning of singing. I have engraved them in me as much as to be painful. I have torn up and thrown away the letters with no prospect. I made the happening of tears memories. The story which has just begun. I will show it to you. The life which has just begun. I will show it to you. The meaning of living. The meaning of singing. I have engraved them in me as much as to be painful. It has been blooming in me so long. It may die. It has only to bloom again (English translation) Ask Emma: answer this puzzling formula. lives are all woven. bound to the ground. a current runs distant. humming. put your ear to the ground. all around you. it strikes us down. a wave. your hand. a heart. it's irony. thirty-five years fighting fire-fought blazes. he drowned today on a monday. tuesday the weatherman's pleasantly wrong. it's a sign somehow i doubt it. wednesday emma sits. her hands grip the hand of the man. she cries. waiting. too many stories. the formula breaks down in lives. sighs. lay flat on the ground. it strikes again. this time there's a sound. a wailing. a screaming. all-loving. a doubt. walk patiently. the answer will come in time. say anything. i know your faith is tired. hope for the best and hold tight. say anything. i know your faith is tired. seems to me no one's sure. where and when the code will break. i just say question the answers. ask emma More Of The Sky: Goodbye again. My life has backfired again. I never leave a friend. Without letting tears. I am standing at a red light. I am still waiting. With these tall warm buildings. Crushing down around me. I saw more of the sky last week. And it changed me. I want. Your frosty breath. In your stone cold kitchen. I want to breathe out. Evaporate myself I am gone. Here you are again. On my floor. A postcard. I know everything. But myself. Flash back two weeks ago. The question. That made me cry. I still don't why. Graffiti on closed doors. In front of empty baby strollers. Alcoholics wandering When The Light Becomes Green: those good intentions will they ever be used. or just hidden to protect id's / ideas. the pure taste on months comes in advance this year. just waiting in time to be swept away. forget long nights where the seasons changed. to let new mornings take control over us. dreams of utopian atmospheres tend to. talk to me in my sleep. they advance. through thoughts they progress and at the end helplessly. takeover direction. when the light becomes green. forget the. and i never undertsood The Last Injection: only existing in memory is a hard way to develop. your last words were stoic disagreement. does the regret make it too hard to reach back? yes. these hidden vices lead to deceit. and those plastic smiles erode. overcompensate to push down babylon. you calmy accepted the distance and made it greater. you stop and you stare and you turn and you go and you don't look back. could it be the pills? could it be the hormones? could it be your body is your cell? the first drip makes you look away. the second one takes your breath out. thie third one stops your heart dead cold. do you exist or have you been put to sleep? your memory is moving pictures that i try not to wear out. these still frames fade away as new faces take their place Big Cloud, Big Sky: When the gas stops burning. 'Cause the pilot's gone. You feel the heat run out and the cold come on. I'm just down the road. From the city of sin. Where you can hear the dead laugh in the wind. I don't see myself in this place again. The downtown noise. The dotted line. The worldly game gets left behind. Big cloud. big sky. When the blind man's bluff. Is a good man's word. The smokescreen is up and the truth is blurred. I should've read the good book. Should have listened and learned. I see a dead end sign. Did I miss my turn? On the floor with lies and a carpet burn High School Lovers USA: my hand in your hand. beads around your wrist. you wore my jacket. i carried your bag. my name on your diary. your name on my wall. my picture in your locker. your picture in my wallet. and every day's been holiday since you came into my life. and every day's been holiday since you became my sunshine. put on your depeche mode shirt. take my daddy's car. the radio's playing our favourite song . shakedown seventy-nine. now we don't even care about anything at all. it's you and me against the world. it's you and me versus everybody. and we don't even care about anything at all My Picture: A soft answer from a wise question. black tongue and ice covered ground. I'm so lonely I'm alone. A blind man on a black horse. unemployed, reality escape. I'm so lonely I'm alone. But I'm strong I'm a winner I'm the one. A good life, a happy smile, an easy walk but a hard way to climb. I won't wear it I'm to shy. And so it ends the final fit. I'm on it now I live for it. I'll take the chance. I put back the pieces my friend. Because I'm strong I'm a winner I'm the one. And I'm grateful for my life yes I'm grateful to you Christ. I'm grateful.

Chapter 8: My Very Last Breath

Emo Diaries, Chapter 8

My Very Last Breath

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01. Kelly8 - "Superstud"
02. Long Since Forgotten - "Just Listen"
03. Fading Fast - "White For Poison, Black For Purity"
04. Logh - "Guided Tour Of A Dead Man's House"
05. Down-To-Earth Approach - "Fourth Rung Of The Ladder"
06. Hateen - "Danger Drive"
07. The Colour Blue - "Of Our Disregard"
08. The Day Action Band - "Regret"
09. A Season Drive - "No Air"
10. The Solo Project - "Dreams Like Knives"
11. The Home Team - "Let Go"
12. Slow Coming Day - "A Mere Accident"
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Recording Time: 47 min 42 sec

Lyrics:

Superstud: tasting her skin like she's a newborn. kissing her lips like she's a doll. twisting her arms just like she wants to. stealing her breath is all you know. escape. don't you try to run from me. don't you try to run away. this is how it's supposed to be. this is how i'm supposed to be. this is how i'm supposed to do you. i could even feel through. what it's like inside of you. never been this close before. baby i've seen the night in your eyes. you know i have to put out the light. you know i have to proceed this. don't fight it. escape? don't you try to hide from me. don't you try to hide away. this is how it's supposed to be. this is how i'm supposed to be. this is how i'm supposed to do you. it's my favourite. this is my favourite part Just Listen: i've had enough of these unrestricted arguments. it's worth much less than silence to spend my time like this. can't you just see through this wall of noise to see that i don't want to fight. not this time. not tonight. i'll try one more time. i'm waking up again to the sound of you not here. it's becoming all too familiar. now all that's left are vacant screams at best. now it's four am with no one listening. i wish i said nothing. i'll try one more time for you with all that's left within me to believe that we can make this through because i love you White For Poison, Black For Purity: crowned with full color. bleached out white. canvas laid bare. thrown on your covers. your faith relights. credence is clear. how bravely you run as fate unties. belated commands. afraid of the legions as fears combine. disable the ends. write down change lines and outline of atrophy. cry for the pen to write on. lights out stage right. you weren't there for me. i won't be up when you're gone. the cry will shape the chill in the air. abide the change and you will be happy again. you will be happy again Guided Tour Of A Dead Man's House: my forehead against the glass. an imprint that will last. waiting for a bus. for you to get off. for life to go on. to get out of that town. out of that house. my forehead against the glass. an imprint that will last. brother call our mom. tell her of her car. tell her of my scars. and tell her what i found. coming down Fourth Rung Of The Ladder: didn't mean to leave you all alone. but the spring has shown. with all the leaves dead on the trees when everything should be in bloom. and now it's over. and it won't come back. unappreciated. yeah my time was wasted. you beg to come. you beg to go. but never did your actions show. and now it's over. and it won't come back. and i want to know. if there's anything i can do. 'cause i'll be here. and i'll do anything for you. i'm so sick of waiting for everyone. my ambitions fading and it's not so much fun. when the time comes along. and you're at your end. you just let yourself down. and you let down your friends. when i come home. i'll look for you. but you won't be there. when i come home. there will be nothing new. and you still won't care Danger Drive: i close my eyes. while i'm driving home tonight. why do i need to see. something i don't like. changing tracks. i am lost in my way back home. where am i. these streets seem so alike. could i change the world tonight. without changing my heart inside. could i change my way back home. leaving you out of my mind. i always take the wrong tracks. that lead back to where you are. you can feel dead when you're alive. one hundred miles per hour. just to get closer to you. reaching the death in every path. feeling rejected exposed and sad. i hold the wheel. that keeps me still wanting to be by your side. you can feel dead when you're alive. and it's not so fine. wish you could see me there. and i wish you could brake my car. sorry it's all a shame. but it's not my fault. if you make me drive so fast. to get anywhere. so i close my eyes. maybe i'll be back home tonight. maybe i'll make you sad or happy tonight. it depends on how i drive. back home Of Our Disregard: i have wasted. what should have been. never existed between you and i. you'd wrap your arms around my shoulders and say. now feel this feeling. inside. yesterday's memories. all released memories. these are things that should have stayed forgotten. like the time you ran away from home. to turn around and find yourself alone Regret: i know that having children won't keep me alive. when they are in their forties i will start to die. and this windmill life is halfway round. there's one thing that i'll know. that i can't believe i ever let you go. oh regret. regret it every night. oh regret. regret it every day. tomorrow. in this apartment all the countertops are new. i leave the windows open so the air blows through. and this nighttime sound comes pouring in. there's one thing that i know. that i can't believe i ever let you go No Air: i walk with an angel. can see an airplane. but there's no air. no there's no air. now i'm all right. i don't need to breathe. someone's taking my hand. but there's no joy. there's no joy. walk with a body. i'm screaming your name. and the sky is falling under my feet Dreams Like Knives: hey sleepyhead. keep dreaming. because the days aren't getting any better. the storms at night. they keep me up. watching the lightning explode. and then disappear Let Go: i'll know you. i'll never know anyone again. ripped at the seams early on. to let go. to throw away all that i am. i'm watching you walk and i'm stunned. my legs weigh four thousand pounds. i'm awake. i saw you last night. i can tell by your vacant expression. and it hurts me to find what i've found. but i know it might be a while. until heaven and heartbeat collide. those black shoes. covered in guilt from last night. you brushed it aside on a whim. take one step forward. and four more steps back. you're gaining on losses. but never quite catching it up from behind A Mere Accident: shutting my eyes i can see. what is right in front of me. a twisting kaleidoscope in my head. of all the things we left unsaid. if i could make the world go away. if i could make it all disappear. distant memories relapse. encased in mirrored glass. leaves are falling. time for a change. repetitions are rearranged. if i could make the world go away. if i could make it all disappear. make it all disappear. if i could make these nightmares disappear. now it's time to fade away

Chapter 7: Me Against The World

Emo Diaries, Chapter 7

Me Against The World

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01. Tabula Rasa - "The Effects That Try"
02. Time Spent Driving - "Lowlight"
03. Before Braille - "Venom By Memory"
04. This Beautiful Mess - "Racing The Mosaic"
05. Dorian - "There Are Many Ways To and From..."
06. Halifax Code - "Karate Mansions"
07. Drive Til Morning - "Engine Roars Me To Sleep"
08. Seven Head Division - "One For The Money"
09. Waterpistol - "This Is What I Get"
10. The Killing Suspense - "Feel The Way I Do"
11. Two Weeks From Tomorrow - "Motorbike"
12. One Starving Day - "Animus"
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Recording Time: 57 min 53 sec

Lyrics:

The Effects That Try: you fall on words that clamp your tongue. you said it's gone. but still i peel and peel away. in one last breath you've changed my thoughts. the effects that try and motion away. comply and appear drained. the effects that try and motion away. it's time to be the last time. a conscious concern. a loss of ways. contain false hurt in one last breath. you don't know how much i needed this. you live up to be not known. a conscious concern. a loss of ways Lowlight: outside i can see your breath. but you're not there. and mine is hardly left. twilight. feels the morning press. every star is seamed with your duress. inside i can hear each step. but they're not yours. a sleepless dream at best. as black skies flow to auburn reds. they wake the night and of me what is left. if i don't want to see you. it's because it hurts too much. all this time spent wondering if i was just a crutch. waiting for the day to kill this night. and carry with it you away forever Venom By Memory: you wanna quit this. you feel like you wanna quit this and just move on. you're afraid you just missed the green light. though sometimes slow vengeance is never late. so bury your hands and wait. your moment will come. in due time we'll hit the state line. we're running away tonight. punch out the girl. you want to punch out the girl to set things straight. what a difference bruised eyes can make. punch out the boy. you want to just give the boy advice he'll never take. well this love can't wait another mile. we're risking it all tonight. we're above the law tonight. it might be the first time that i've ever felt alive. we'll go on our borrowed light. complain if it ain't that bright. no one here gets out alive. don't cancel plans for a false alarm. if it makes you feel good it can't do harm. but if you live for now the future is a let down. i've got the right to investigate. a sweet revenge has to fool the taste. we laugh about it now. but can i fit your crown. if not then i'll go make my own. you'll never know where you are. till you admit where you have been. sometimes i just pretend you're dead. until i need you again. you'd like to change your past. i'll bet you almost can. despite the pride. the fear. the selfish decisions. strike a deal. like a match. in your kerosene hands. the addiction is growing strong. and all your thoughts are soaked in venomous memory Racing The Mosaic: i don't want to be part of the human race anymore. sometimes i wish i was never even born. i don't want to belong here any longer. it's a crying shame this world is painted. makes me want to jump off the planet. we are all the same from his point of view. there's no difference between me and you. in this varied universe. where the cultures collide. i wish we all were equal. i wish we all were colorblind There Are Many Ways To and From Point A and Point B: passion has taken control of my heart and soul. destined to make my destination home. i just want you to know what it's like to be in love with you. passion has taken control of my heart and soul. destined to make my destination home. there are many ways to and from point a to b from you and me. i just want you to know what it's like to be in love with you. i just want you to know what it takes to make these dreams come true. so true Karate Mansions: with this new space. i can do anything with it. it's my new home. and i'm ready to furnish it. do you feel the way i feel tonight. show me the plans of your architectural attack. you built the walls too tough for a green belt. you lay the foundation too thick for me to break. do you feel the way i feel tonight. mansions built in trust and courage. taught me how to fight with both hands. burn the plans up. burn the whole house. lay down the mats. tie up your belt. put on your gloves. cautiously kick. caulking the cracks. where did we learn to fight like that Engine Roars Me To Sleep: goodnight texas. i'm heading back north. let the engines roar. and sing me to sleep. we stayed up all night. and we laughed just like kids. let the clouds be my cradle tonight. half alive. when the first flurry of snow fell on this day. since ninety-five. flying miles high and shut eyed. but swinging from the stars. let's tear down the skyline tonight. my hand on your shoulder. your heart in my hands. roar me a soft lullaby One For The Money: he gained the world but gave his love away. she would have stayed. she would have stayed for the money. what do you do. what do you say. would you give it all away. i don't think so. you do it for the money. this clever style that seeks to please. would you walk that extra mile. i don't think so. you do it for the money. you do. you say. you can't give that away. and you do. you say. you're alone This Is What I Get: if you listen first then you may not reach this end. you may be happy for as long as you pretend. everything that is said is done. forget the fact that for her it's just not as fun. i know it's bad enough i missed. lost in the madness of a kiss. and left to feel the way i do. the cost of loving someone who won't love you. now i'm dying. there's nothing left. i've shown through and can't reset. for that this is what i get. waiting after you. i'm sorry for holding on so long without your help. i tried my best to understand. you wanted this and i confess. i'm so selfish to think i had a right to seek perfection. waiting after you. and you think i gave it all up. i gave it all to be where i am. and i feel this breaking my heart. but i was tired of waiting and listening for the day you would tell me when it's okay. it's ok now. i've grown from this somehow Feel The Way I Do: day i never wished for has come and gone. and how do you expect me to trust you. maybe i got caught up in the moment. i tried so hard to make it real. but blinded by my dissolution i created this confusion. day i never wished for. a look from you could say a million sorries. just go away. you expect me to trust you. what do i look like. guess how it feels to be me. to you. but those lying eyes. a black sunrise. my ears hear what you say. but i just look away. don't want to hear it anymore. don't pick up the phone. i'm not home. i'm leaving my keys on the floor. put the bills in your name. take my name off the door. i want you to feel the way i do. that was the worst day of my life. burnt out broken heart was choking Motorbike: failure is not an option. options never fail. you'll never get to my position looking backwards. with your tail between your legs. i'll be your son on one condition. i've got to make out my own way. i've got to follow my ambition. moving forward every day. i'm coming home to you. mommy and daddy. i'm a big boy now. i'm coming home on my motorbike Animus: of emptiness that we rot. locust arose from our throats. i feel you bleeding in my dreams. narrow is desire. my arms. withered as womb. the law of life. the law of love. the law in your eyes. the will to power

Chapter 6: The Silence In My Heart

Emo Diaries, Chapter 6

The Silence In My Heart

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01. Southpaw - "Hub"
02. Lewis - "Everything's Changed"
03. Benton Falls - "Tell Him"
04. Stuart - "2:1"
05. Dear Diary - "This Year's First Snow"
06. Barcode - "Kent"
07. Hangin'On A Thread - "Flavour"
08. Andherson - "Wellspent"
09. Honesuckle Serontina - "Stoopid"
10. Naht - "Way Not Stand Against You"
11. Dead Red Sea - "Even If There's A Chance In Hell"
12. Desert City Soundtrack - "Left You For Who You Are"
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Recording Time: 51 min 31 sec

Lyrics:

Hub: you think i should be in bed. but i don't. and i won't. you say i needn't be scared. but i care. so i hope. you say i shouldn't go out at night. but i've made my mind up to do my own thing. had enough of humility. i won't be doing what you tell me. oh nanny dear. it's nice to know you care. but i've had enough. i'm standing up. i'm out of here. i'm a major player. at the heart of this whole damn scene. i'm not the hub. not the cog. i've grown a little too big for this niche. you find it hard to believe. my grand plans. i have dreamed. i have schemed. i have traveled a long time. in my mind. if i could just get myself untied. i would go there. stowaway there. undercover and as an unknown there. be my own man. i would show them the real me. oh nanny dear. it's nice to know you care. but i've had enough. i'm standing up. i'm out of here. we'll believe it when we see it. i'm a major player. at the heart of this whole damn scene. i'm the hub. not the cog. i've grown a little to big for this niche Everything's Changed: of course i feel as if the light of youth has gone. the innocence both you and i have known. clenching teeth who can undo. open eyes become a noose. and soon. everything's changed. and the dust that i have come from. i return to. broken back. unbending knee. wait. and soon sorrow. naked heart it seems too much for me to bear. of pleasures past. fast your work is left to decay. i've seen where this path will lead. through red earth and fallen leaves before. everything's changed. and the dust that i have come from. i return to. broken back. unbending knee. wait. take the road. find a source of comfort. of comfort. here you come. here you come. with one eye open. and one eye closed. staggering Tell Him: if you wait. by the side of the road. then i will pick you up. if you stay and wait for me. in my baby blue ford i will be there at two in the morn. but don't tell your dad because I've never had such a tail to tell. tell him something else. tell him your away. tell him anything. tell him your at julie's. give him the number. to call if he's scared. give him the number. to call if he cares. if you wait by the side of the road. then you will be disappointed. if you stay. and wait for me. in my baby blue ford i ain't comin round your house no more. so go tell your dad cause i've never had such a tail to tell you. tell him we are through. cause that's what he wanted 2:1: i caught her smile too fast to know. will this go on. i told myself to go. how was i to know. i was on to you. but something is missing. and maybe we have gone to far. can we go on when i come home. will this go on. we stand on different sides of the sea. i'm sure you know that i'm not losing this time. we're on this field again at different ends. can't get to close. can't get to you. this will go on. the reason to get lost. will it be the way. the only way. i caught her smile too fast to know. this will go on. we stand on different sides of the sea. i'm sure you know that i'm not losing this time. we're on this field again. at different ends. can't get to close. can't get to you This Year's First Snow: behind your hands i turn black. i fall into the soft white snow. inside of me i'm tired of you. your footsteps in the snow. make me smile. but i still can't trust myself. i fall into the black soft night. behind your hands i turn black. december's love is what i count (on). shadows feel so warm i hide (in). one of them i'm small and weak. i crawl to you to catch one more Kent: trying to be nothing. i'm trying to hide. dying to see something that will make up my mind. you are my secret wave. and you're floating around. on my secret ocean. you're making no sound. you are the wave. floating away. you are the wave. showing the way. with tears in your eyes. you are holding your breath. aware of the consequences you may make. your breath is my breath. and you're fully aware. i don't think you would like to leave this way. you are the wave. floating away. you are the wave. showing the way. someday the sun will shine on both you and me. that day will be forever. eternity. you'll smile and i know that it's hard to believe. but i promise you'll be happy and free. like me. you are the wave. floating away. you are the wave. showing the way. you are the wave and hellip Flavour: many nights I've spent sleepless. i thought about the time. about how slow and fast. slides through my hands. and I didn't realize. something moved when i thought about it. i didn't look over me. who was close to me. didn't perceive my presage. i didn't pay attention to hours. to minutes. the simplicity of quietness. the pleasure of tasting. the wisdom's whisper. and I didn't realize. i've found the right stability. between the intense flavour. and the tasteless waiting Wellspent: waking up to summer dusk. i feel absent in time. fading daylight leaves. filters through kitchen static light. my dinner waits on sleeping stove. secrets come slow. open lessons in regret. hope you're feeling well tonight. and now i'm serving up the last long day. and i'm never running out of sleep. can't keep track. i file memories deep. a list of urgent failures sing Stoopid: A long time. you thought about the big time. but after all you're not so beautiful. and in time. you thought about the bright lights. but after all you're not so colorful. a dirty smile. looking for a free ride. you're standing there. you look kind of pitiful. i wouldn't stand. i wouldn't stand. won't stand for uneventful this time. and back then. you thought you were the cool guy. but after all you're not so beautiful. the big plans. looking for the spotlight. but after all you're not so colorful. and in time. you're asking all the people why. you're standing there. you look kind of pitiful. i wouldn't stand. i wouldn't stand. won't stand for uneventful this time. watching the faces go by. never meant. and when I wake up. and look out beside my life. watching it grow. and after all. this time I always know it's mine. watching it grow. and in time. you're looking for a new life. cuz after all you're not so beautiful. the big dreams. fading in the dim light. cuz after all you're not so colorful. dirty pants. looking for a free ride. you're standing there. you look kind of pitiful. i wouldn't stand. i wouldn't stand. won't stand for uneventful this time. watching the faces go buy never meant much too me. watch the spot where I stop paying attention to ya. watching it grow. a lie. and in time. you're looking for a new life. cuz after all you're not so beautiful. and in time. you're looking for a free ride. cuz after all you're not so beautiful. it could have been. it could have been so beautiful Way Not Stand Against You: the witness came from the direction of sorrow ground. i asked tell me the way not to stand against you. the conversation ended at this point. keep me willing to believe. but I gotta face you again. the line was still stretching height as always. but soon hit the ceiling and adjusted its course sideways. deadlocked line found a diagonal way. and rushed into settlement at a single stroke. from the cradle to the grave. this gray world where you can take everything as black and white. noah's ark is gone. all I need is just one word. all I need is a word which can settle this. if you fail to untie. you will face friction. diagonally we became as one. please tell me the way not to stand against you. and we became as one Even If There's A Chance In Hell: you can go there selling all your smiles. i think i hate you. but would kill for a chance. i should've seen it. but my eyes haven't worked in a while. i think i'm faking. faking my existence. i'm choking on the fresh air that i breath in. i'm breaking promises that i swear i would keep. my ship is sinking in. so i will swim to the shore. and we'll raise the dead with our singing. i know nothing. it's been a long time since i've seen your face. it's been a crazy crazy crazy crazy year. maybe i'll just bet my life away. do you think i'm still a disgrace Left Your For Who You Are: titles have been visited through the unconstant. kissing letters. i'm not wearing hearts on my sleeve. pulling the envelope from the hiding place. holding myself close. i don't have the heart to believe. a stamped letter we had as a first chance. no seconds. just the post-marked mile marker. carpeted under streetlights. asleep at your bedside. then gone to work and alone. bathed in the scent of unforgiving lullabies. the science of my heart tells you to cut it out. pillowed prey. under the descent of vulture's talons. convictions to shiver the scarecrow with every crease. the silence of my heart has let me leave you for who you are. not what i'm leaving behind.